Contrast
by ShadowSilk
Summary: Crackfic. Temari had entered the home improvement store hoping to find a decent paint color for her younger brother’s room. Instead, she found a foul mouthed monk who was not afraid to offer some blunt criticism for her every selection. Oneshot.


**Author's Note**: My first attempt at writing a Hidan and Temari piece! Enjoy!

Strong language here. It's Hidan, after all.

**Pairings**: Hidan x Temari friendship, or slight HidanxTemari.

**Disclaimer**: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

Dedicated to firefly. Thank you so much for introducing me to this wonderful pairing!

* * *

Bright swatches of every shade and hue imaginable covered the entire length of the wall in an almost mesmeric display. The dizzying effect of the exposition, coupled with the fact that Temari was especially overwhelmed with the prospect of selecting just one, was beginning to leave her feeling lightheaded. 

Temari took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to abandon this godforsaken place. This particular home improvement store, though it boasted incredibly low prices, was in definite need of some attention itself. Temari looked around in disdain. The employees were mulling about, far too preoccupied with their own dreary selves to offer her any assistance whatsoever.

"Service here is a fucking joke."

Startled, Temari looked around. She found herself face-to-face with a scowling man, who, Temari noticed in bewilderment, was shamelessly baring his chest. His white hair was carefully slicked back. Even more puzzling, a rosary hung from his neck. Was he a monk?

No, he couldn't be. What sort of monk blatantly threw around curses like they were some sort of confetti?

"What?" was all that Temari could manage.

The man shook his head.

"The service. It sucks ass, seriously."

Though Temari silently agreed, she wasn't going to admit it to this foul-mouthed stranger.

The man watched her, amused. "Hey, blondie. Cat got your tongue?"

"No…" Temari said, uncertain. What exactly did he want?

"So you _do_ talk," the man noted. He grinned. "I'm Hidan."

"Temari."

Hidan gazed at the wall, squinting at its bright intensity.

"So, looking for paint colors, huh?"

"Yeah." Temari wondered why she was even continuing a discussion with this strange man, but after being ignored by the employees for such a long time, conversation was actually kind of…nice.

She smiled slightly, thinking about her youngest sibling. "My brother wants us to repaint his room. Again." Temari sighed. "Not earthy enough, he says."

"What is he—a fucking mole?" Hidan chuckled. "I say, get the fucker something so bright it'll make him shit his pants. Liven it up a bit."

Temari pointed at a paint sample hanging upon a wall. It was a deep mahogany, something that Gaara had desired in the first place. Truth be told, Temari had taken Hidan's stance on the matter, and insisted on a cheerier color. Lime green, to be exact.

Needless to say, the young Kazekage was not pleased. He had made that point very clear when he demolished the room with a well-executed assault with his sand.

"This is what he wants," Temari said, not bothering to mask the disdain in her voice. It was too dark for a wall color.

Hidan made a face. "Fucking bad taste, seriously."

"How about this?" Temari asked, holding out a pastel blue.

"Pansy color."

Temari studied the wall, searching for a pleasing tone. "This?" she asked, pulling down a slate gray. It was a tasteful neutral, in Temari's opinion.

"Good lord, blondie. Who the hell would want that shit on their walls?"

Biting her lip, she produced a paint color sample from her pocket. It was her personal favorite; not only was the olive color elegant, but it was a slightly earthy tone that would certainly appeal to both hers and Gaara's individual tastes.

Hidan was blunt.

"I hate it."

Growing frustrated with his criticism, Temari snatched another sample off the wall. "And how is _this one_ ugly?"

Looking thoughtful, Hidan examined the rich purple piece.

"It deserves a good ass-smiting," he announced finally. "Why don't you get the poor dumbass a jeweled cane while you're at it?"

"What is your _problem_?" Temari snapped angrily.

"Calm down, seriously." Hidan was definitely enjoying this. "Like I said earlier, you just have bad taste. Nothing to get all bitchy about."

Temari had had it. The unhelpful employees, this sad excuse of a home improvement store…and now this son of a bitch passing his judgment on her paint selections like he was some sort of god. And a crude, questionably dressed, and endlessly difficult one at that.

"I'm leaving," Temari growled. She stalked away, pushing aside an unfortunate employee who had been loitering in her way. He found himself falling headfirst into a trash receptacle.

"Hey."

She ignored his annoyingly amused voice. A faint pattering of footsteps could be heard behind her, getting louder with each passing second.

"C'mon," Hidan persisted. "Hey, blondie, come back."

Temari looked over her shoulder. The man stood there, palms out. He looked helpless.

"Listen," said Hidan, smoothing his hair back, "I've been told that I have a wicked sense of color coordination." He grinned. "Why don't I share some of my good fortune and help you out, eh?"

Temari raised an eyebrow. "You? Color coordination? Don't make me laugh." She crossed her arms. "What's in it for you?"

"Jeez." Hidan shook his head. "Distrustful little bitch, aren't you?"

"Tell me," pressed Temari, "what would you get out of it? Don't tell me that you're doing this because you're a gentleman."

Hidan smiled. "I can't let you walk out of here and fuck up some poor kid's walls with your bad taste in color coordination. You wanna scar someone for life, do it with your paint choices."

He gestured for her to follow him. In spite of herself, Temari obliged.

"Besides," Hidan said, chuckling softly, "I guess this scores some brownie points from Jashin, right?"

Temari was confused. "Huh?"

The Jashinist looked happy. "You know. Saving souls. 'Cuz if you put up that goddamn olive nonsense on anybody's wall, Jashin'd probably shove you into hell so fast your pigtails would catch fire."

Hidan looked thoughtful.

"That color—it's a fucking sin. Seriously."

* * *

Temari soon found herself standing before the dizzying wall of color once more. She looked over at Hidan, who was frowning as he studied each bright rectangle with disdain. 

"Heathen color…heathen color…what the fuck is this?" he muttered to himself. Temari tapped her foot impatiently. There was no way in hell this guy could choose a better paint color, she thought darkly. He could barely manage to cover his chest, for god's sake.

Finally, Hidan's face lit up.

"Thank you, Jashin."

He delicately plucked a sample from the overwhelming mass. "You're going to fucking love this."

Ready to mock his selection, which she was sure to be some garish shade of orange or something of the like, Temari snatched the swatch from his outstretched palm with a smirk.

Temari stared at it with wide eyes.

"Holy…"

Hidan looked pleased. "Knew you'd fall for it. I have a gift, blondie. A fucking _gift_."

Maroon.

It was a deep, soothing purple-red, interlaced with mahogany undertones. It was earthy, yet strangely appealing at the same time. _Warm_. Temari turned it over in her hands. She knew Gaara would love it.

She knew she did.

Temari looked at him, surprised. "How did you…"

Hidan smiled broadly.

"You know, blondie," he remarked. "We're more alike than you know."

As he was about to head off, Hidan regarded Temari once more.

"Hey," he called, "find me if you need help decorating." He chuckled. "Can't have you ruining the asshole's room. Interior design ain't your forte, seriously."

Hidan disappeared into an aisle, picking up a container of spackle on his way to the front of the store. Soon, he was gone.

Temari looked down at the paint sample. A small smile tugged at her lips.

Alike, huh?

She let out a laugh.

_Crazy son-of-a-bitch._

_Seriously._

* * *

**A/N**: Hope you liked it! Reviews would be extremely appreciated. :) 


End file.
